Carine Knapen
An opportunity is a situation from which we can derive a personal benefit and is perceived as positive by both ourselves and the outside world. Life is full of opportunities. You either grab them or you don’t or, you fail to fetch it. If you manage to grab them you usually thrive on it. In the other case, you say to yourself " oh dear, I missed a good opportunity " but that's not so bad because there will probably be another one.
Opportunism, on the other hand, is perceived negatively by society for an opportunist is always perceived as someone who has no morals and puts aside all principles to achieve his or her goal. Politicians are a good example thereof. During election campaigns, they promise heaven on earth, but once elected, they forget about it and their promises vanish. That they disappoint and even infuriate many does not affect them. They have achieved their goal. A seat in Parliament or as a minister. That is all that matters.
Should we judge them on that ? Yes and no for we are all social opportunists, a term that has its origins in psychology. We develop this social opportunism from the cradle. Babies and toddlers like to surround themselves with people who give them a lot of attention. Mum, dad, siblings, grandma and grandpa but also any other person who appears on their path and gives them a hug, compliments or sweets, in short, anything they can take advantage of. In kindergarten and later, in primary and secondary school, there are always children who are more popular than others, either because they are very articulated or have something else to offer that others don't have or sometimes also because their parents have a high status, 3 cars, a big house with a swimming pool ... We would like to be friends with those kids too. Social opportunism. We want to belong, to be included in their circle of friends. We push aside our own identity for it. If the popular ones have a Kipling school bag, a Millet jacket or something else from some high end fashion brand,k we want that too and saw off the ears of our parents' heads until we get what we want, which is also a form of social opportunism.
Once we step into adult life ( whether or not after long studies ) we build a circle of friends which is also founded on social opportunism. We love to be friends with the boss's wife or son or someone else in higher rankings, wouldn't we ? You never know what that might bring. We also follow great artists, movie actors, singers and other celebrities. We read their posts, publish comments because you never know that the celebrity reads them and might get in touch. Hope is the fuel of life’s engine. Some artists have 100 million followers or even more. The idolatry is boundless. They have since long renounced to the follow up of their own social media. They have an army of employees for that who maintain and further construct on the image building, but people are gullible, they need celebrities they can adore, follow closely. They want to know what the artist eats, drinks, does through the day. They copy their behaviour. If the celebrity appears in public wearing a dress of a certain brand, you won't find it anywhere anymore within 24 hours. Sold out worldwide.
It's a peculiar phenomenon that's in everyone's backyard. Being virtual friends with well-known people. Being able to say out loud “ oh, I know him personally " to elevate one's status to a higher level. "
Loyalty is far away in all this. Social opportunism is always temporary. When someone's role is - or appears to be - played out and no longer of service, he or she pushed aside and people move on to someone else who can (still) serve, deliver something. How many celebrities does this country not count, who coloured the TV for years but fell completely into oblivion once they disappeared from the TV screen ? Many. Ditto regarding notorious politicians and other figures who have meant something. The collective memory is very short. The world turns at lightning speed. Every single day there is something or someone new. Today the press is talking about x or y, tomorrow the world has already forgotten about it. If we get nothing out of it for ourselves, it is not interesting.
During the debacle of the past 2.5 years, many genuine friendships were lost because ... they disagreed on the subject. Fierce arguments, swearing, hate messages, it was all there. Many took refuge with new faces, so-called "like-minded people " with whom they wanted to " connect". Connecting is the new magic word. No dog knows what it really means. Well, dogs do, but they don’t.
Social opportunism reigned on a supreme level. Everyone wanted to know certain people, be associated with them, follow them, know what they were doing, when and with whom, be there, send messages, call, meet up. However, ,once the dust of one debacle settled, a new debacle arose over a war in a distant country and what did we see ? New camps arose among the so-called like-minded people who went up against each other with drawn knives because ... they disagreed on the new topic ! There were quarrels, abusive language and hate messages. Those who didn't share their own opinion were defriended, unfollowed, blocked, pushed into a corner and bashed.
True friendship is precious. The highest good a person can achieve. True friendship is characterised by loyalty. In good days and in bad. Just because you disagree on one or more topics doesn't mean the friendship is over. True friendship withstands that. Friendship is not based on social opportunism. You are there for each other, not only when things are going well and you can get something positive out of it for yourself but also when things are going badly and you have to sacrifice yourself, your time and energy to help the other person get ahead. True friendship is for life. Social opportunism gets you nowhere. It is thin air. An illusion.
Choose your friends wisely ....
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